40 Day Rosary Challenge

As I think I mentioned before, I'm part of the Lifeteen Core for my parish this year. Sunday's night was called "Give it Away Now: The Oh Baby Edition". Basically we were collecting items for our local pregnancy crisis centre and educating the teens about abortion.

It was kind of perfect timing because 40 days for life starts on Tuesday. I think I fired up at least a few of them with the stats such as over 5000 abortions happen each year in our city alone (Our city has less than 1 million people so that's kind of a big deal). We also talked about the fact that being pro-life just makes sense. This might be politically incorrect to say so, but life, human life, trumps any sort of choice I make. Why do humans suddenly become valuable only after birth?

When I was in summer school I met a guy named Dan. Dan and his girlfriend are pregnant, and their baby is due in December. The fact that he seemed excited, even though he was a bit scared, was heartwarming. Then one day he was talking about his baby and a girl named Amanda came in halfway through the conversation. The conversation went something like this:

Picture taken from
a great Rosary and Chaplet homebased business

A: "Oh, you had your baby?"
D: "No, he's due in December."
A: "Oh, I thought you said you were a dad."
D: "...I am a Dad, he's just not born yet."

Fatherhood begins in the womb. Dan loves that baby boy. Why does it make any difference if that baby is inside or outside of the womb? Motherhood begins in the womb too. Why does a few months mean the possible difference between life and death for a human being?

So I challenged the teens, and now I'm challenging you. Whoever reads this blog, or this post or whatever. I challenged the teens to spend the next 40 days (coinciding with 40 days for life!) praying a Rosary everyday for the unborn and all the women and men who feel so desperate that they have to kill their child. I also said that if the Rosary feels too daunting, they can say a decade, or even a single Hail Mary. But if we can join our voices to the ones outside the abortion clinics now, I think we can change everything. We can rehumanize the unborn, and save lives.

Something I thought was fitting: I will be praying my daily Rosary on my baby pink Rosary I've had since I was born. It's the only Rosary I have, so it's not like I can use anything else. But still, it fits.

Why I Need Grace

I've been trying to make a point, since school started, to go to daily Mass at my University - when my class schedule allows for it. It ends up being twice weekly because Tuesdays and Thursdays are full class/work days, and on Mondays they do Adoration instead of Mass. I didn't really notice any earth-shattering changes in myself by going to Mass, until last week, when I didn't go either Wednesday or Friday.

My justification for not going was that I needed to get school work done and it "wasn't an obligation anyways". That was my first mistake. When I get into a rut of only doing what I'm obligated to do my relationship with God stops being an intimate friendship where I'm dying to spend time with Him and starts being more like that kiss your Mom forces you to give to your second-cousin-twice-removed-who-you-call-Aunt before you can run off and play. It's like, instead of wanting to be with God and taking time out of my day to hang out with Him, I'm saying that we'll meet up later.


Anyways, by Friday I was doing things my way instead of His way. By Sunday morning I was a grumpy and weepy mess. Then J, that wonderful man that God led into my life, showed me why God led him into my life by cheering me up and bringing me back on the right path. So by Sunday night, when I went to the Lifeteen Mass I was ready for one of the best Masses I've been to in awhile. I found the readings to be just popping out at me, and I swear, I heard parts of the Mass that I've never heard before.

So today, I went to Adoration. My heart feels at rest, I feel calm and at peace. So I need to remind myself that even when I think that I can't go to Mass, that I need to. I need it for my soul.

There are so many wrong attitudes and ideas that rush at me everyday. That little chapel in the middle of my University feels a bit like an oasis. A haven among the rush of the day.

I Like Public Libraries

I was very excited a few weeks ago when I discovered that my local public library has an app for iPod and iPhone where you can do searches and place holds right on the device.

"No more will I have to scramble my brain looking for a book to check out! It will even be waiting for me under a convenient label bearing the first four letters of my last name at a location of my choosing!"

This was especially exciting given that I usually go to the mini-location on my University campus which basically rotates its selection from all the other city public library locations. See, I'm really bad at actually logging onto a computer to go on the website so this was an amazing thing for me.

So right away I put a bunch of things on hold. Most of the things (popular books and seasons of tv shows) had a fair bit of wait time before they were available so I basically forgot about it and went on with life.

Now, in the week I've gotten quite a few emails. Apparently all the people using the items I wanted were all finished with them at the SAME TIME.

But I just went back to school! How am I supposed to read 2 300 page novels in a few weeks, plus watch two seasons of different tv shows in a week (since they have shorter lending times) plus do everything else for school?

I'll let you know how I make out, but I persevered and watched 2 whole 1 hour episodes last night and read 150 pages of The Secret Daughter. We'll see how tonight goes.

Wish me luck!

ps. People who have been reading my blog may notice that this is a marked difference from other sorts of posts. If you want to see more of a certain type of post (more faith based, more life based) let me know in a comment!! The only one who comments on a regular basis is J, and he doesn't do it online.

Taking Care of Business or Learning How to Trust God More

I'm not sure if I mentioned it before, but as well as being a full time student, I also work two part time jobs. You see, God has been testing me as of late in the area of money. First I couldn't get a decent paying job to save my life, even after applying for about 20. I did however, manage to get a job at my favourite clothing store.

Except, working in your favourite store doesn't really help the whole saving money for school thing. 

When I was interviewing for the amazingly exciting position of Sales Associate, she promised me that I would be able to get about 20-25 hours a week. That is less than I wanted, but for sure doable. 

I think, out of the whole summer (May-August) that I had off from school that I worked above 20 hours maybe 3 or 4 weeks. 

So I was stressed about money. I pay my own tuition, and while it is for sure cheaper than some schools in the US it's not peanuts. Most people I know have to hold down a job or two or get student loans (or both) to make it through. But, thankfully this year I am in my fifth year of school (probably the only reason I'm thankful to be in my fifth year) and after you are out of high school for four years, your parents' income no longer counts against you for student loans. 

As well, there was a little bit of silver lining in having to apply for student loans. When they accepted my application they also awarded me two bursaries (yay for free money!). The bursaries are called Low Income Grants (yay for being broke...?) 

All in all, things were looking up financially. My student debt is around $5000 and I was going to squeak by this year. Then God decided I needed to learn how to trust a little more. In July I got into a car accident. 

Thank goodness I wasn't hurt. At least not seriously. But my cute little yellow, almost new Pontiac, the going-to-last-me-until-I-have-kids-and-need-a-four-door car had to be written off. As I still owed money on the car the insurance pay-out went to that and basically left me with not enough to buy a new car. 

Sigh, I really liked that car. 

Anyways, hence the two jobs. One is still at the aforementioned clothing store, and the other is at the Information Booths around campus. 

I'm thinking that God must have a lot of faith in me to throw all this at me. Sometimes I find myself wishing though, that he didn't trust me quite so much. 

Do an OGRE daily

I'm volunteering as a member of Core on my parish's Lifeteen youth group this year. As part of it, we had to attend a mandatory leader's retreat this weekend. Mike, our youth minister, gave us a handy little acronym that will help us grow in holiness, and I wanted to share it with you, along with some of my own commentary.

O - morning OFFERING - start out your morning by saying a simple prayer dedicating your day and everything you do in it to God. This is something that I often forget to do, simply because I do most of my specific prayers at night before bed. But I'm trying! I think I'm going to take his advice about taping a reminder on my mirror.

G - say GRACE - say grace before every meal. This helps us become more grateful, and gets us praying at least three times during the day. This one is hard for me, especially for breakfast and lunch, simply because I'm not in the habit of it. Also, doing a sign of the cross is still a bit intimidating for me in public, but it's another thing I'm working on. J and I have gotten decent at praying before dinner when we eat together, so the rest of it is something that I'm trying to work on.

R - READ your Bible - this is something that my stint at the Protestant Church really helped with. They really advocate reading the Bible, since it is basically their only source of authority. But Catholic's should read it too! It such an important way that God communicates with us. Right now I am in the midst of trying to read the whole Bible in a year. It's a good discipline exercise, and also helps me to learn more about the people in the Bible.

E - EXAMINATION of conscience - essentially, before you go to bed you should examine yourself for any sins that you may have committed throughout the day, ask forgiveness for them, and assess whether you should go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation or not.

Hopefully this will help you on your journey to God, I think it's starting to help me, and I'm going to keep on working on it!

Off to School

Today was my first day of the school year. I had sort of forgotten how many students there are when campus is full (about 35 000). Among those 35 000 about 30 joined me for the daily Mass. I feel so blessed to have a campus with a Catholic college that operates through the University. They offer Mass everyday except for Monday as well as Adoration and Confession. The Priests that I have met are all fairly orthodox but they get students; they get our needs and our lifestyle temptations. 

I had actually forgotten about the Mass today, but as I got out of class about 20 minutes before it started and was trying to figure out what to do for the next two hours I had before my next class, I literally heard a voice inside my head telling me to go to Mass. It was the best part of my whole day. The moment I walked through the chapel doors I felt just peace wash over me and I had to fight to keep an ear to ear grin off my face. 

The best part was how perfectly the Mass readings fit with the fact that it was the first day. If you missed it, the first reading was Col 3:1-11:

 ¹ If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. ³For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. ⁴When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. ⁵ Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. ⁶ On account of these the wrath of God is coming. ⁷ In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. ⁸But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. ⁹ Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices ¹⁰and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. ¹¹Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

Basically it was the perfect reminder that I need to be living for Christ all the time; I can't separate Him from my school life. It also helped me to know that I did the right thing by not going to the party last night. Plus, after I spent time talking with some of the other students that were at Mass, which is helping me with my prayer/goal of making more Catholic friends.

So overall, good first day, and it's all thanks to Jesus.

Babies and Selfishness

I get a bit sad when well-meaning Catholics say that marriage and parenthood isn't a vocation, that the only "real" vocation is that to religious life or the priesthood.

But in reality, I think a vocation is the major life shaper that is going to break you out of your selfishness so you can more fully follow God. But so many people don't see marriage that way, and with the ever evolving reproductive technology people have decided that kids are something that are meant to better fulfil themselves. Don't feel like you're "ready" to have a child yet? There's a pill for that. Did the pill fail? Don't worry, they can "get rid of it" for you. Did you wait too late to start a family and now you're not getting pregnant as easily as you hoped? In-vitro fertilization (IVF) works great!

Now, because of IVF, which has a high chance of producing multiple pregnancies at once, there is another way to micromanage your fertility. It's called "reducing" a pregnancy, and basically doctors abort all but one or two of the fetus' in utero. The link is to a New York Times article about the procedure.

A couple of quotes that really stood out for me in the article:

"I was right to be afraid [to have twins]. Studies report enormous disruption in families with multiples, and higher levels of social isolation, exhaustion and depression in mothers of twins. The incessant demands of caring for two same-aged babies eclipse the needs of other children and the marriage. It certainly did for us. There’s no doubt that life with twins and a third child so close in age has often felt all-consuming and out of control. And yet the thought of not having any one of them is unbearable now, because they are no longer shadowy fetuses but full-fledged human beings whom I love in a huge and aching way."

I feel like this is true for many people. Once they carry a baby to term they realise that the babies truly are people, not just ideas of people as they sometimes are perceived in the womb.

“In an environment where you can have so many choices, you own the outcome in a way that you wouldn’t have, had the choices not existed. If reduction didn’t exist, women wouldn’t worry that by not reducing, they’re at fault for making life more difficult for their existing kids. In an odd way, having more choices actually places a much greater burden on women, because we become the creators of our circumstance, whereas, before, we were the recipients of them. I’m not saying we should have less choices; I’m saying choices are not always as liberating and empowering as we hope they will be.”

This isn't the first time that this sentiment has been expressed. Studies have shown that compared with women in the 1970s, the overall happiness of women is declining. We have gotten ourselves into a society where it is difficult to raise a family on one salary (although it is definitely done), and women don't like it. Most of my friends say that if they can afford it, they would like to stay home with their kids. Then they almost feel guilty for saying it, as if it is selfish to want to raise your kids yourself. I will argue that it is less selfish to do without things so your children can be raised by yourself. I'm not saying women have to stay home. But, they sure should not feel guilty for wanting to stay home.

Choices give us control. Control over things that we shouldn't necessarily have control over. When we can micromanage aspects of our lives we start to feel a sense of entitlement, and then that selfishness that lives inside all of us comes out. It just breaks my heart that babies die for it.

Parties or Prayer?

A bunch of girls from my sorority

So there's a party tonight. Every year, on the night before school begins a particular fraternity at my University throws a party. It's usually dubbed as the best party of the year.

I'm in a sorority. I have gone to said party every year that I've been a member of the sorority, except for my first year, because, well, I hadn't joined yet. Although, at that time I would have been 17 anyways so they wouldn't have let me in. 

I'm not going to the party tonight. It just does not sound appealing. I would have to either take the bus to campus or drive there and home tonight. I just don't feel like making the 30+ minute trip to get there for something that is not going to bring me closer to God. That sounds cheesy and cliché I know, but right now, the last thing I want to do go drink with a bunch of people that I don't really care for any more. 

One of my best friends and I, first year of University

My two best friends are going. I met them in the sorority, and they are very good friends, and will likely stay good friends. But they don't share my faith, and that's becoming a larger and larger obstacle. In truth, I want to stay home, read scripture and say a rosary before I go to bed and wake up for school tomorrow. I feeling a big war between the world and God right now. My friends will be upset that I'm not going. Probably. But I'm starting to wonder if I should care.


Paul tells us "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." I don't necessarily think the party cannot give glory to God, but I don't think that those are the types of things that I want to immerse myself in any longer.