Why I Need Grace

I've been trying to make a point, since school started, to go to daily Mass at my University - when my class schedule allows for it. It ends up being twice weekly because Tuesdays and Thursdays are full class/work days, and on Mondays they do Adoration instead of Mass. I didn't really notice any earth-shattering changes in myself by going to Mass, until last week, when I didn't go either Wednesday or Friday.

My justification for not going was that I needed to get school work done and it "wasn't an obligation anyways". That was my first mistake. When I get into a rut of only doing what I'm obligated to do my relationship with God stops being an intimate friendship where I'm dying to spend time with Him and starts being more like that kiss your Mom forces you to give to your second-cousin-twice-removed-who-you-call-Aunt before you can run off and play. It's like, instead of wanting to be with God and taking time out of my day to hang out with Him, I'm saying that we'll meet up later.


Anyways, by Friday I was doing things my way instead of His way. By Sunday morning I was a grumpy and weepy mess. Then J, that wonderful man that God led into my life, showed me why God led him into my life by cheering me up and bringing me back on the right path. So by Sunday night, when I went to the Lifeteen Mass I was ready for one of the best Masses I've been to in awhile. I found the readings to be just popping out at me, and I swear, I heard parts of the Mass that I've never heard before.

So today, I went to Adoration. My heart feels at rest, I feel calm and at peace. So I need to remind myself that even when I think that I can't go to Mass, that I need to. I need it for my soul.

There are so many wrong attitudes and ideas that rush at me everyday. That little chapel in the middle of my University feels a bit like an oasis. A haven among the rush of the day.