Learning how to Smile and Nod

Why is it so hard to take criticism? There's an automatic gut reaction that I get whenever someone tries to correct me. It's that darn pride that tries to say "You don't need correction." But if you follow that thought to the logical conclusion, it breaks down. You're really saying "You don't need correction... you're perfect." Which automatically should ring a couple bells.

I don't know about you, but I find it even harder to be gracious when it's a peer who is trying to help you out.

I'm taking a choral conducting course for my Bachelor of Education, Music Major degree. I walked into class today with a spring in my step, having gone to the gym this morning, and then had a very productive homework session. I felt on top of my school work and thought that I was finally settling into this semester (halfway through the semester, but you know, what does that matter?).

I walked in and asked the Professor "Do we need the textbook today?" as I had enough time to go get it if we did.

"No" she assured me with a smile. "Oh wait, there's the three people doing their conducting assignments for today!"

I exited the classroom with a little less spring and a bit more trepidation. I was, in fact, one of those three who was supposed to conduct today. Had I prepared? Nope.

It becomes my turn and she corrects me more than any of the others, but I figure it's what I deserve after not even looking at the thing. Of course, it hurt the ego a bit, especially considering that my prof in my other conducting class tells me that I do good things and so I was starting to think that I knew what I was doing with this conducting stuff.

Well, the good Lord always enjoys finding ways to keep us humble. I just wish it didn't sting so much.

This is exactly what I feel like sometimes

To add a bit more salt to my wounded ego, a guy named Colin approached me after class. Colin already has a music degree and is now doing an after degree in Education. He starts telling me that I might do better if I keep a strong stance, rather than allowing myself to lean forward to get the feeling. Which I know is something I need to work on.

But then he told me the same thing in five different ways.

Thank you Lord for giving me what I need, which is not more food for my ego.

I just have to remind myself that he means well, and that he is making valid points.

Except there's that one part of me that's going "What right does HE have to tell me what to do."

Does anyone else feel like a split personality sometimes?

Anyways, aren't you guys proud of me for posting on a day other then Friday? ...there goes that pride again...