As I'm sure you've heard, 40 Days for Life started last week. My city is one of those participating.
The sign up sheet made me physically hurt. Most of it was red (no volunteers) with a slot here or there that a single person had taken. So I signed up for an hour that I could squeeze in, in between class and choir practice.
First of all I was extremely late. There was something funny going on, like every road I tried to go on was blocked with construction, or I would turn the wrong way. Finally I just had to pray to God that He could get me out of there. I figured it wasn't just a coincidence that it was so hard to get there.
Then, for some reason I parked really far away. As I was walking the four blocks, I ran into someone I knew.
She's not a close friend, she's the fiancee of one of J's good friends. I didn't know what side of the fence she falls down on for abortion. The first question out of her mouth: "What are you doing here?' It's a fairly reasonable question. The clinic is not close to my home, nor my school. It is however, close to J's work. So the next words out of my mouth? "I'm just waiting for J."
As she walked away, I was just struck by sadness. Pure and utter disgust with myself. Why was I so afraid to share the real reason I was there? Was I so afraid of her opinion that I was willing to lie about it?
On the positive side, I went and stood there alone, showing the abortion clinic workers that we do care what they do in there. My rosary challenge has also been going well, I haven't missed one yet!
And next time someone asks where I'm going: I will not lie.
I know that feeling. Only a few select people know I sidewalk counsel at Planned Parenthood.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on going it alone, actually just on going at all!