Being Discriminating

I woke up this morning to this story on the morning radio. For those who don't like to follow links, I'll summarize. Essentially, there is a professional hockey player who is being accused of racism because he dressed up as the rapper Jay-Z for Halloween, complete with make-up to make his skin darker.

NHL player Raffi Torres in costume
with his girlfriend

Honestly?! Racism? I think his costume is great. He looks a lot like Jay-Z, and he is a self-professed "big fan", so I doubt he was doing anything to make Jay-Z look bad. People dress as celebrities all the time for Halloween; just because they're of a different skin colour, does that automatically make them off-limits?

This points to a larger trend that I've been seeing, not only with skin colour, but with gender/sex as well. It seems that people are so careful to be seen as accepting and tolerant, that they try to pretend that differences don't exist at all, even ones as evident as skin colour.

I've had people tell me that I'm being racist, or that I'm discriminating when I am describing someone and I mention their skin colour. Literally, I was describing a girl going through sorority recruitment to one of the members of my sorority. I described the girl as black, with huge curly hair, and my sorority sister called me racist.

Why don't we take a journey through the dictionary to see if I was racist.

racism (from World Dictionary at Dictionary.com)

—noun

1. the belief that races have distinctive cultural characteristics determined by hereditary factors and that this endows some races with an intrinsic superiority over others

2. abusive or aggressive behaviour towards members of another race on the basis of such a belief 

Based on this dictionary definition, I was not being racist. To merely point out a difference does not imply superiority in any way. While we've got the dictionary open, why don't we look up another one of those great insults - "you're discriminating."

discriminate (from dictionary.com)

verb (used without object)

1.

to make a distinction in favor of or against a person or thing on the basis of the group, class, or category to which the person or thing belongs rather than according to actual merit; show partiality.

2.

to note or observe a difference; distinguish accurately.

verb (used with object)

3.

to make or constitute a distinction in or between; differentiate.

4.

to note or distinguish as different.

So, according to this definition, it can imply two different things. The first definition, most people would agree is wrong. You should look at each person as an individual. However, it is perfectly valid to point out differences.

Look at men and women. To discriminate against a women in the sense of the first definition would be to say that "you're a woman, all women belong in the kitchen, therefore, you belong in the kitchen." This is not taking into account who that woman is at all; maybe she is called to religious life, or single life. To be discriminating in the other three definitions would be to say "You're a woman. You are different than a man." Pointing out differences does not mean that you are decrying said differences.

So just like some people would like to pretend that skin colours are all the same, people would like to pretend that men and women are the same. News flash, they're not. Ladies, being different from a man is not the same as being less valuable than a man.

My University President got in HUGE trouble from a large sector of the student population when she made a remark that she is advocating for white males. She made that remark because there are more women than men in the University and more non-white men than white men. She didn't mean to say that she is advocating for white men at the expense of women and minority groups. She herself is a non-white woman who holds an engineering degree among others and is one of the highest earning University Presidents in Canada.

Along the same vein, I was part of a program in high school geared towards helping women go into non-traditional career paths (like engineering, technology and science). Now I'm a music major in an education degree, who wants to be a stay-at-home-mom. Not exactly blazing new trails, but it's what I want to do, and what I believe God is calling me to.

Differences are great. God created us to be wonderful in whoever we are. The only thing He calls for us to be the same in, is that we are all called to be Saints.

7 Quick Takes: The Random Episode

--- 1 ---

My brother is normally a fairly reserved kind of guy. But when he's got Adele playing while he's in the shower he likes to belt it out. It makes me laugh. Especially when he gets to the high notes. 

--- 2 ---

I feel hope whenever I see someone pay special attention to showing reverence to the Eucharist.

--- 3 ---

I've been taking a Zumba class with a few of my friends. It's so much fun, but it is for sure a huge workout. For those of you who haven't heard of it, it's basically a dance class. But instead of learning a routine you basically repeat the same steps over and over. And the steps usually include something like squats or lunges. I have a class tonight; I love that it's an all girls class too, so I don't have to be self-conscious of "shaking it" in front of men.

--- 4 ---

Marc Barnes over at BadCatholic, has been doing a bit of a series on pornography. Which is exactly the topic of our next Lifeteen issue night. I expect I might have a thing or two to say when we get closer to it. 

--- 5 ---

It was my Dad's 50th birthday on Monday. Happy Birthday Dad!

This actually describes my Dad fairly accurately

--- 6 ---

On a slightly more somber note, my Grandpa starts chemo for cancer on Halloween. Any prayers are appreciated!

--- 7 ---

It's Halloween on Monday! I'm going to a party on Saturday since J is out of town, but my friend and I are going together. I am hoping to look something like this: 

except you know, with more clothes. So really, I just want my hair to look like that. 

For more Quick Takes, visit Jen at Conversion Diary!

Learning how to Smile and Nod

Why is it so hard to take criticism? There's an automatic gut reaction that I get whenever someone tries to correct me. It's that darn pride that tries to say "You don't need correction." But if you follow that thought to the logical conclusion, it breaks down. You're really saying "You don't need correction... you're perfect." Which automatically should ring a couple bells.

I don't know about you, but I find it even harder to be gracious when it's a peer who is trying to help you out.

I'm taking a choral conducting course for my Bachelor of Education, Music Major degree. I walked into class today with a spring in my step, having gone to the gym this morning, and then had a very productive homework session. I felt on top of my school work and thought that I was finally settling into this semester (halfway through the semester, but you know, what does that matter?).

I walked in and asked the Professor "Do we need the textbook today?" as I had enough time to go get it if we did.

"No" she assured me with a smile. "Oh wait, there's the three people doing their conducting assignments for today!"

I exited the classroom with a little less spring and a bit more trepidation. I was, in fact, one of those three who was supposed to conduct today. Had I prepared? Nope.

It becomes my turn and she corrects me more than any of the others, but I figure it's what I deserve after not even looking at the thing. Of course, it hurt the ego a bit, especially considering that my prof in my other conducting class tells me that I do good things and so I was starting to think that I knew what I was doing with this conducting stuff.

Well, the good Lord always enjoys finding ways to keep us humble. I just wish it didn't sting so much.

This is exactly what I feel like sometimes

To add a bit more salt to my wounded ego, a guy named Colin approached me after class. Colin already has a music degree and is now doing an after degree in Education. He starts telling me that I might do better if I keep a strong stance, rather than allowing myself to lean forward to get the feeling. Which I know is something I need to work on.

But then he told me the same thing in five different ways.

Thank you Lord for giving me what I need, which is not more food for my ego.

I just have to remind myself that he means well, and that he is making valid points.

Except there's that one part of me that's going "What right does HE have to tell me what to do."

Does anyone else feel like a split personality sometimes?

Anyways, aren't you guys proud of me for posting on a day other then Friday? ...there goes that pride again...

7 Quick Takes: The Musical Episode

First off, I apologize for my extreme lack of posting. I'm in the middle of midterm season. And speaking of seasons....

Brr. It's starting to get chilly here. I actually had to scrape the windows of my (I mean my brother's) car this morning. I don't mind it right now, it makes the air feel all crisp and clean. But I don't like being cold. I really don't like being cold. And I live in a place where it will be -20 degrees (that's celsius for all you American readers!) for about 3-4 months straight with a couple weeks of -35 degrees thrown in for kicks.

Anyways, enough of my complaining. Here are seven songs that make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside when I hear them. 

--- 1 ---

Roll Away Your Stone - Mumford and Sons
This is the first song of theirs that I really listened to. My favourite line:

It seems as if all my bridges have been burned,
You say that's exactly how this grace thing works.
It's not the long walk home that will change this heart,
But the welcome I receive with the restart.

I get chills just from reading the lyrics!

--- 2 ---

Darling It's You - Ray Mailman
Ok, I guarantee 99% of people reading this will not have heard of Ray. He's a local boy from my city; I met him at the Evangelical Church I went to before reverting back to the Catholic Church. I love this song, it is constantly a "Recently Played" song on my iPod. You can hear it at this website. His website is www.raymailman.com. The combination of guitar picking and his super fast lyrics with a sweet sentiment always gets me.

--- 3 ---

Tennessee Me - The Secret Sisters

Listen to this song. Sway back and forth to the gentle guitar pulse. Imagine you're at a country dance and it's a slow one so you can just hold your sweetie a little bit closer.

I'm a big fan of this kind of country music. My family is big on the guitar playing and we always are playing and harmonizing around the campfire. This one just brings back feelings of love and family.

Plus as one youtube commenter put it: "Their voices are like clear blue skies."

--- 4 ---

Something Stupid - Frank and Nancy Sinatra
I literally spent hours trying to learn how to sing this song by ear. The contrast between her alto voice and his clear tenor is just amazing. The parts where she is singing lower than him give me chills. Plus Frank Sinatra is one of the great crooners of the past century.

--- 5 ---

Defying Gravity - Cast of Wicked
I love musical theatre. I would love it if we could actually express our feelings through singing. This version is the Original Broadway Version of Wicked and has Idina Menzal and Kristen Chenoweth playing Elphaba and Glinda, respectively. I love the parts where they go into harmony, wishing the best for each other. Also, when Idina puts on her power voice I am always astounded.

--- 6 ---

Beautiful, Beautiful - Francesca Battistelli

This song haunted me for weeks after I first heard it. Especially because I didn't know the artist yet and couldn't find it. She is one of the best parts of Christian radio today. Her voice is real and doesn't have any of the auto-tune... stuff.... that other Christian artists use in order to reach the masses

--- 7 ---

Then - Brad Paisley

Sigh. I love most of his songs, but this one always gets me thinking about a certain someone...

I promise that I will get better at posting more regularly! But I need to go to class now, so for more Quick Takes, visit Jen and friends at Conversion Diary!

7 Quick Takes: Smile-making

Hi all, hope your Friday is going well and your weekend goes even better.

I've witnessed some pretty heavy things in the past week (look for a post soon about it!) so I thought I would do my quick takes on things that make you smile. Hopefully it makes you smile too! Without further ado, in no particular order:

--- 1 ---

The sun peeking through the clouds. When I was little I thought that it was the angels beaming through them. Which may have more truth to it than I realize.

--- 2 ---

Pride and Prejudice. I've seen this particular movie version (the Keira Knightly one) probably 25 times. I do not kid. There was a time in my second year of University when my best friend and I were living together at the sorority house and we would watch it at least once a week. The end where he says that "you have bewitched me body and soul" and then the very end when he calls her Mrs. Darcy because she's deliriously happy just make me melt a bit inside.

Also, I have read the book, a couple times. But I like my movie Mr. Darcy better. :)

--- 3 ---

Watching toddlers and pre-schoolers toddle their way up to the front of the Church when it's time for offering. My parish has a clear container up at the front and I love watching them go up and put their money in (or sometimes take money out, which their parents quickly correct). Babies in general make me smile, and I get annoyed with people who say they don't belong in Church. There's a good post about this over at BadCatholic .

--- 4 ---

Singing, playing piano, and doing all things musical. Which is a good thing since I'm going to be a music teacher.

--- 5 ---

Tea. I started buying loose tea, and pretty soon had to switch all of our medicines (advil, tylenol, etc.) into an empty medicine cabinet so that I would have enough room in the kitchen cabinet for all my varieties of tea. It's just so comforting.

--- 6 ---

Blog posts by Cam at A Woman's Place. She was the first person I followed, and I just love how she mixes her daily life with thought provoking posts.

--- 7 ---

J. Whether it's cooking with him, talking to him on the phone, or arguing with him, that man always knows how to make me smile. Which is really annoying when I'm trying to argue. 

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

How to Screw Up Doing a Good Thing

I did something I'm not proud of yesterday.

As I'm sure you've heard, 40 Days for Life started last week. My city is one of those participating.

I've been pretty pro-life fired up as of late. God's been laying on my heart pretty hard with this issue. One night, as J was driving me home, I was half asleep but still telling him about all the terrible statistics I heard (like 5000 a year in my city are aborted. My city has just over 1 million people). So finally yesterday I decided I would venture out and join the prayer vigil in front of the clinic.

The sign up sheet made me physically hurt. Most of it was red (no volunteers) with a slot here or there that a single person had taken. So I signed up for an hour that I could squeeze in, in between class and choir practice.

First of all I was extremely late. There was something funny going on, like every road I tried to go on was blocked with construction, or I would turn the wrong way. Finally I just had to pray to God that He could get me out of there. I figured it wasn't just a coincidence that it was so hard to get there.

Then, for some reason I parked really far away. As I was walking the four blocks, I ran into someone I knew.

She's not a close friend, she's the fiancee of one of J's good friends. I didn't know what side of the fence she falls down on for abortion. The first question out of her mouth: "What are you doing here?' It's a fairly reasonable question. The clinic is not close to my home, nor my school. It is however, close to J's work. So the next words out of my mouth? "I'm just waiting for J."

As she walked away, I was just struck by sadness. Pure and utter disgust with myself. Why was I so afraid to share the real reason I was there? Was I so afraid of her opinion that I was willing to lie about it?

On the positive side, I went and stood there alone, showing the abortion clinic workers that we do care what they do in there. My rosary challenge has also been going well, I haven't missed one yet!

And next time someone asks where I'm going: I will not lie.

7 Quick Takes, Volume 1!

This is my very first quick takes, and I've noticed many other people doing them, so I thought I would jump on the bandwagon. The theme this week is going to be just random observations.

Also, while I'm at it, I'm going to mention that you all should go check out Cam at A Woman's Place. She makes rosaries and chaplets at home and is having a giveaway for a custom rosary.

Now on to the takes!

--- 1 ---

I don't understand the point in barefoot shoes. I get that they're supposed to be better for your feet, but honestly, it's cold where I live and I just don't understand sacrificing warm feet for better aligned ones. Can I get any enlightenment?

--- 2 ---

I work in an information booth on my campus with a Ticketmaster, and I have come to the conclusion that only Asian people like Avril Lavigne any more. At least the only people I've sold tickets to/had pickup tickets were Asian...

--- 3 ---

I feel like a goof when I practice my conducting patterns for my music classes at my information booth job.

--- 4 ---

This weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving! I am thankful for the fact that even though my parents are going away this weekend that I still get turkey at J's parents house. My brother is another story though, however, if he is just planning on sitting in our house I will forcibly drag him to come have turkey.

--- 5 ---

I am 33 years old. In base 6. Can anyone tell me how old I am in base 10? (aka, what we actually base our number system on) I'll give you a hint, it's lower than 33. This is what I learned in my Math Education curriculum course yesterday. Other highlights from that class include playing with blocks.

--- 6 ---

Part of my information booth job is doing Lost and Found stuff. It gives me great joy when I can give someone back their purse or wallet that has their whole life in it. Conversely, it makes me sad when people come looking for things I don't have. Or when I see something turned in matching their description after they've already left.

--- 7 ---

What it says on the whiteboard at work: 

this day in history: The International Warlock Convention of 1289 issued a decree banning the consumption of dragon meat, to further preservation efforts of the species worldwide. 

Anyone catch the reference?

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary!

The Most Amazing Cookies My Mouth Has Ever Tasted

My friend Sara is celiac - which means she can't have wheat, barley or anything else with gluten in it. She is also lactose intolerant and deathly allergic to shellfish. So, needless to say, when we hang out the food issue is a bit of a hurdle.

But we managed to get around it. We cooked chicken, rice and broccoli, and topped it off with homemade chocolate cookies (lactose free chocolate chips of course).

Picture from Divine Baking

I have to share this recipe with you. It was amazing. We popped the cookies off the sheet and nearly ended up on the floor in chocolate ecstasy. I even semi-conquered my fear of beating egg whites, although I made Sara beat them for me. But they worked out perfectly! Maybe I can get up enough courage to beat them myself next time!

The original recipe comes from a blog called Divine Baking. The link will take your right to these cookies. They are called Deep Dark Chocolate Cookies. I stumbled upon the recipe at a blog called Grasping for Objectivity. So to both of you bloggers, I am indebted to you for the lovely chocolatey sensation that you let me experience.

My only advice would be to suggest that you have milk on hand. I had run out of milk and was not so pleased with my water and chocolate cookie combination.

The Pavlova Incident

Over the summer in my lack of full-time working I gradually started to learn how to cook. Most of it was in an attempt to have something a bit more significant in my day than getting out of my pajamas. J has been most astounded by the ways my cooking skills have grown by leaps and bounds. Which sometimes rubs me the wrong way, even though its true. I couldn't cook like this before. But still, does he have to point it out?

Anyways, one day, we were supposed to have dinner with J's friend Sean and his girlfriend Megan. And I started to get that pesky female instinct that says that I need to bring something to this dinner to contribute. So we call and decide that J and I will bring dessert.

So that means I have, oh, about 2 and a half hours to find a dessert recipe, get ingredients (because J's house is a little less than stocked...) and make a dessert.

I stumbled upon a recipe called Easy Pavlova. I love pavlova. My aunt Belinda (my cooking aunt) makes it and it is delicious and perfectly light, which was great considering we were having the nicest Indian summer ever.

So I run out and buy eggs, icing sugar, corn starch and raspberries for a sauce.

When I got back I realized I have to beat the egg whites. I thought it wouldn't be a problem. I can follow a recipe/direct J to do it, right?

Except, like I said, J doesn't have a very well stocked kitchen. So it was lacking an electric mixer. And a whisk. So we valiantly tried to whip our whites with a fork.

Unfortunately J had gotten a tiny bit of yolk in the whites, plus they weren't room temperature, and there was no acid in our bowl to keep them together.

We ended up making the raspberry sauce and buying vanilla ice cream, which was still delicious, but made me feel slightly like a cooking failure.

Also, I may have a slight fear of whipping egg whites now.